Saturday, July 9, 2011

Looking Back

Hey Friends!

Well it's been almost one month since I left India. I am sorry for the lateness of this entry, but it has taken me some time to get my thoughts organized and resettled into the western lifestyle. 

During my trip, my team of seventeen spent 3 weeks in Nepal, traveling from the capital of Katmandu into villages in the west and 5 weeks in India, where we stayed in the northern village of Dharamsala with a quick one week stop in Delhi. Needless to say, we were very busy. 

Nepal was a very open place, where we had the freedom to spread the Good News as much as we wanted and people were very open to it. We went to a lot of villages and orphanages and did little church services for them or just talk to people about God in the streets. We met many Christians in Nepal. They are some of the most wonderful people I have ever met, so passionate in worship and prayer. It really gives me hope and joy when I see people pursuing God in that country. YWAM Nepal has a great team running DTSes and others schools, sending people out to meet the needs of evangelism and discipleship in their own country!

India was a little different. It's technically illegal to be a missionary over there, so we couldn't be nearly as open. Most of our activities involved volunteering in english classes or other programs to build relationships. Dharamsala was a very interesting place. The Dali Lama has sought refuge here from the turmoil in Tebet, so his residence is there, along with a many Tibetan refugees. Because of the Dali Lama's influence over the village, many people from all over the world would come to stay for various amounts of time to try and discover the meaning of life. As a result of this, we didn't see very many Indian people, which gave us quite a shock when we got to Delhi. 

Building relationships with the people in Dharamsala was one of my favourite experiences. I have a special place in my heart for Tibetan people, so it was such a great opportunity to learn about the culture and their remarkable stories of overcoming adversity. (Please go research these people, or shoot me an email! I couldn't begin to explain the thing's they've gone through in this entry, but it's worth knowing about. it's not talked about enough.) I met so many amazing people over there who I miss very much, especially my "shoe guys". There were guys who sat on the street in front of the Japanese restaurant everyday who cleaned and fixed shoes as their job. One of my favourite memories is sitting with them while they worked all afternoon, just talking.

Me and Rick with Ramesh, Vicky and Sanju (and some other guy)

As much as we saw God move through prayer, conversations and actions during our time in India, which was worth everything, God made His presence very evident one day at one village in Nepal. We had arrived in a district called Surkhet after a rather eventful roadtrip complete with rebel confrontations and nightmare hotels (ask me about that one too!). We walked down a rocky path to a village of several huts in a dry river bed. We were told that the people here were low caste, meaning that they were hated by every other village. So, we got to doing our program, songs, testimonies, bible stories and the Nepalis with us preached and sang up a storm too. Here's a bad quality video.



Something was electric about the atmosphere that day, because when we asked if people wanted to accept Jesus as their saviour, twenty-seven people came forth!!! That doesn't happen! These people have been Hindu all their life and a bunch of white people randomly come in and tell them some stories and they all decide to change their lives? That can only be the power of God. And we saw that for sure, as we prayed over the kneeling crowd, they responded to Him in all manner of ways, from crying to screaming out to laughing with joy. The village leader, who had been suppressing the church previously, knelt there, trembling before the Lord! 

While all of this was going on, I looked over and saw a little boy kneeling off to the side. I asked someone what was going on with him and they said he had a polio type disease. I was like "Why are we not praying for this kid???" So I went over and started. A group of YWAMers and villagers formed around and joined in, also bringing another girl with the same disease. There was no major success in the praying, so everyone went off for tea, except the little boy, named Oniel. My heart went out to him. I know what it's like to be left alone and I'm sure this is a normal occurrence in his life. I wanted him to feel valued. All we had were the rocks on the ground, not even the same language between us.  So, I began to make a pile of rocks. Tentatively, he joined in. I thought of home. We have so many different ways of communicating with one another and stress ourselves out to do it in the most eloquent way possible, but all this boy and I needed to understand each other was a simple pile of rocks. So humbling!

Later, while I was having the most delicious tea you could imagine, a couple people on the team came up to me and told me that they felt that God was saying to take the boy and girl down to the river to wash them and pray there. That sounded like a plan to me. So, after clearing it with our guide and team leader, we set off with the children and a few of the villagers. Being down at that river is one of those moments that I'll never forget, it still feels so fresh and new to me. We dipped them in the river and poured water over their heads and atrophied limbs, our eyes on heaven, hearts calling out to God. The joy on the faces of the children was serene and perfect and the faith of the villagers was a like a rock. Though we did not see a physical healing that day, none of us walked away without a sense of peace and accomplishment. We risked with God and followed His voice. I have no doubt that those kids will one day walk, if they aren't already, and I already know a great emotional and spiritual healing took place that day. It may have just gone to a deeper level down at that river. 

I want to stress how much your support has meant to me. If you supported me financially, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making the dream that God put in my heart possible and for being a catalyst in moving missions forward! Please keep supporting missions. You are making it possible for people who wouldn't otherwise hear to know that they have a saviour and God will bless you for this! To those who supported me through thoughts and prayers, I am incredibly grateful to you for what you've done. Prayer is a powerful thing and I have seen that with my own eyes. I know for a fact that I was held up by prayer through my whole time at YWAM. Keep prayer a priority in your day! It moves the greatest of mountains, believe me. 

So this is all there is to say about my six month journey. I can definitely say I have been radically changed. And though I did take the newness inside of me and let it overflow to the ends of the earth, really it's the ends of the earth that made me new. God is there in a big way and my heart wants to join with that great endeavour, so that His name will be on the lips of every tribe and tongue. May I see all my friends from Tibet, India and Nepal in heaven again.

Thanks for Reading,
God Bless!
~Kathleen

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Moments of Peace

Hey Friends!

So it's a Thursday evening and I find myself sitting alone in my room with a tub of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Browny ice cream that I bought on sale. Such fare is unusual for someone in YWAM, playfully nicknamed "Youth Without Any Money".  With our departure to Nepal and India so quickly approaching, I can't help but feel that I should cherish this moment, for I know that ones like it will be few and far between once I'm on the field.

I've been picking up on these precious instances in time recently. Another one was found just the other day. I was sitting at Kairos, enjoying a strawberry kiwi Italian cream soda for the first time with friends from all around the base. Work duty had been cut short because of a freak power outage and once it had come on again, no one quite knew what to do with themselves, so they congregated there with the evening sun pouring gold from over the mountain tops through the windows. It was the lazy half hour between work duty and supper where no one quite knows what do. Usually we just go to our rooms, but on this rare occasion, we found ourselves, talking, laughing, waiting. I didn't realize how special the moment was until I left to put something in my room and the atmosphere of tranquility seemed to be left behind in the presence of new friends and coffee smells. 

These things really make me realize how precious this time I have in DTS is, whether it's alone with God and my Ben and Jerry's or with the unique collection of friends I've made, all bound together by the desire to pursue God. Picking out these margins in time means that I've truly become comfortable where I am physically. So, I think it's just about time for God to shake up that reality and stretch me. I've already been stretched emotionally and spiritually, constantly receiving revelations about myself until new identity is revealed, but now it's time to put that to work. 

That isn't to say that I won't find peace in the throng of Katmandu or Dhramsala, it will just be a different kind, a devine peace that passes all understanding. That will be a kind that I remember far more than my time with Ben and Jerry's or Kairos with friends because it will be a time the creator the universe brings me to higher ground, to stare into His face and know that no matter how upside down the culture I am in seems, He will always be the same. 

Thanks for reading,
God bless!
Kathleen

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Real Meaning of DTS

Hey Friends!

Preparations are being made! Slowly but surely, we are getting a clearer picture of what outreach could look like. In Nepal we will be spending our time in the capital city of Katmandu for about a month. Our duration in India is going to be about six weeks and will be spent in Dharamsala in the north. Plans are coming together for us to work with street kids ministries, in orphanages and sports camps. Another thing that YWAM is really big into is skits and plays. So, we'll probably be doing a lot of street dramas as a form of evangelism as well as bringing them to local churches along with our testimonies. it's about five weeks away and the reality is starting to set in. The closeness of the time is both thrilling and frightening.

Despite all that, this blog entry is not simply an information update as the last one was. I feel that I am deep enough into the DTS experience that it's time for me to really bare my heart, which is not an easy thing to do on the internet. However, I feel I owe this to the people who have supported me through finances and prayer, so that they may see the fruits of their contribution and somehow feel a part of this story.

The acronym DTS has many meanings. There's of course the official one: Discipleship Training School, then there's the one branded by rebel students: Don't Tell Staff, but the one I'm going to talk about was probably coined once people realized what this school was doing to those who took it and that is Die To Self.

Jesus's main teaching is for Christians to "Deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Me"  (Matthew 16:24). This is a daily act of putting aside your own desires for the will of God and usually takes time to fabricate the ability. I honestly believe that there are very few situations that involve such a huge concentration of the teaching and act of self denial than a DTS. Constantly you are put into situations where you are stretched; stretched to deal with a relationship you didn't expect, stretched to clean up the messes of other people (literally, I'm in housekeeping for work duty), stretched to obey the word of a God who puts a request upon you so He can prove His faithfulness and most importantly, stretched to see the side of yourself that needs to be made clean because you can't go on living as a Christ follower once you've seen it.

At some point, I can't exactly remember when during this DTS, I prayed the "dangerous prayer". This goes something a little like "God, show me what I need to work on so I can be more like you." Usually after you pray, you don't think much at the time... until it comes up later. Over the month and a half that I've been here, God has been giving me revelation after revelation of the person that I really am at the core, fueled by pride, adoration who cries when she doesn't get her way. He's showing me areas of my past that needed to be dealt with if I'm ever to live freely. But what better time for all this then six months that I can completely devote to His ministry towards me?

Don't get me wrong, DTS is a lot of fun. It's an amazing, full of great relationships, and worth while experience that I know will only get more amplified once outreach kicks off, but it's heavy business. Personalities clash, speakers challenge the things you thought you knew and after so much you end up being spiritually drained, tired of processing, questioning and thinking. I find that this can be the time when God can do his best work, when you're out of your own reserves, He comes in and gives you peace. It's a time when you truly learn to rely on Him, not the things you turned to before which is a huge learning experience for me. It's dying to your human desires, dying to yourself, DTS.

Thanks for reading,
God bless!
~Kathleen

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Cracking the Code

Hey Friends!

I have some very exciting news that I can't wait to share!

Last Wednesday after worship and intercession, the DTS leaders told us to go back to the classroom before lunch. We looked at each other confused. What was going on? Were we in trouble? None of us remembered doing anything wrong... lately.

Once we had all made it down to the classroom, the let us inside and had us line around a long table. In front of each of us was a bowl full of whipped cream and pudding. The leaders said to us "You are about to find out where you're going for outreach. In the bottom of each bowl is a plastic letter. What you need to do is get the letter out with you mouth, no hands allowed, and bring it over to the tray at the front of the room. There, you'll have to arrange the letters into right words."

So we all dove in! It wasn't long until we had pudding up our noses, faces full of whipped cream and plastic letters triumphantly between our teeth! Due to our excitement, it didn't take long to arrange the letters on the tray. This is what they said:

NEPAL AND INDIA

That's right! As a team of fifteen, we'll be starting out in Nepal in the beginning of April and then moving on to Northern India until early June! What exactly we'll be doing is not clear yet. We may trek up to a remote village in Nepal, work in orphanages and in the slums in India.  Once a get a better idea of what's in store for me, I will post an update. All i know is I'm excited beyond belief and so is the rest of my team. It will be a truly unmatchable experience.

Thanks for reading,
God bless!
~Kathleen

Thursday, January 27, 2011

In Great Detail

Hey friends!

So I've been living the YWAM lifestyle for almost a month now and what a lifestyle it is! Everyone who's ever been a YWAMer (no matter what base) seems to know everyone else, there are little kids running around everywhere and people don't ask where you're from, but where you've been. And guess what? I like it! The atmosphere here is always buzzing and brimming with a sense of community and purpose. Every time I walk down to the dining area, these words are waiting for me on the wall, just incase I, or anyone else, forgets what this place is all about.


Ok, so on to the reason for my post. I'm guessing that a lot of you are wondering what life is like here at the base for me. You may have asked me on Facebook how I'm doing, or maybe asked my parents and I'm sure I/they have told you good things, but can that really give you a clear picture of my day to day experiences? Not really. So, I thought you might appreciate a glimpse into my average week. First I'll give you my schedule as it appears in my handbook and then break each thing down if it needs explaining. (this could get lengthy!)

MONDAY
6:30-7:15: breakfast 
7:30-8:45: personal quiet time (dts devotion optional)
9:00-10:00: worship/intercession
10:30-12:30: lecture
12:30-1:30: lunch
1:30-3:15: lecture
3:30-5:00: campus contributions
5:30-6:15: dinner

TUESDAY
6:30-7:15: breakfast 
7:30-8:45: personal quiet time (dts devotion optional)
9:00-12:30: lecture
12:30-1:30: lunch
1:30-3:30: study time
3:30-5:00: campus contributions
5:30-6:15: dinner

WEDNESDAY
6:30-7:15: breakfast 
7:30-8:45: personal quiet time (dts devotion optional)
9:00-10:00: lecture
10:30-12:00: worship/intercession
12:30-1:30: lunch
1:30-3:15: lecture
3:30-5:00: campus contributions
5:30-6:15: dinner
Wednesday is also the day we clean our room, because Thursday is room inspection day. They are very picky here!

THURSDAY:
6:30-7:15: breakfast 
7:30-8:45: personal quiet time (dts devotion optional)
9:00-10:00: GAP groups
10:15-12:30: lecture
12:30-1:30: lunch
1:30-3:15: small groups
3:30-5:00: campus contributions
5:30-6:15: dinner
6:30-8:00: community night (once a month)

FRIDAY
6:30-7:15: breakfast 
7:30-8:45: personal quiet time (dts devotion optional)
9:00-10:00: bible teaching
10:15-12:30: worship/processing time
12:30-1:30: lunch
1:30-3:15: free time
3:30-5:00: campus contributions
5:30-6:15: dinner

WEEKENDS
Weekends are pretty relaxed around the base. All that's really planned are meals. Otherwise you can do as you please. You're expected to go to church. After trying out several, I've decided to make the Springs Church my temporary place of worship. During the weekends, I catch up on homework, watch movies with friends and go out and see what Colorado Springs has to offer, like this neat Christian coffee shop called Jives with delicious drinks and live music. A few weeks ago, we also went to Garden of the Gods, a beautiful mountain trail. Here's one of my favourite shots from the outing.





Ok, so now for the details:

Breakfast: The first week I decided to diligently get myself out of bed at 6:30 so I could be down in the dining area in enough time to scarf down a bowl of cereal, but then I got a cold. I decided sleep was more necessary than the most important meal of the day, so I decided to pass until I recovered. I'm well now and it's still not happening. I usually grab some fruit in my room. (I hope the almond milk I bought doesn't go bad)

Personal quiet time/Morning devotions: This is a time the base has strategically set aside for us to just sit and be alone with God. I know it's probably a strange concept for most, even for Christians. You can read your bible, listen to worship music or just wait and listen for what He wants to say. To get a little more creative with this, I started attending the morning devotions that the dts holds. These are times when we are led as a group in a way to do quiet time: thinking on a passage of scripture, writing something to God etc. I've really enjoyed what God has shown me through this time so far and hope I can keep it up once I'm out of dts. 

Lecture: this is pretty self explanatory, but I thought I'd tell you a bit of what our lectures are about. Just as I've stated earlier in this blog, the topics that I'll be covering include God's heart for the nations, spiritual warfare, the father heart of God, hearing His voice, things like that. We have one speaker a week. So far we have had a speaker on hearing the voice of God, the fear of the Lord and building your character in God (which includes the father heart of God). Each speaker has challenged me in such incredible ways and presents their material so uniquely. I think it's going to be hard to pick a favourite!

Worship/intercession: We have this on Mondays and Wednesdays with the whole base and Fridays just with our class. I'm sure most everyone is familiar with what worship is (if you're not, feel free to drop me a line!), but intercession is something people probably don't know so much about. The concept is basically asking God what He wants us to pray for and then praying it back. So, the leadership team will often pray before one of these times and it will be on their heart to pray for India for example. Then after some time of worship, to get into God's presence, we will all pray for them as well, letting God guide our prayers through scripture references we get, mental pictures or just burdens. It's an odd concept if you are not used to it, but it's amazing to see how the power of prayer really works and the way God really wants to show you His heart for a nation or people group. 

Campus contributions: This is a fancy name for work duties. I'm on housekeeping with about six other people. Our job is to keep the base clean for those living and visiting. Our jobs range from vaccuuming the halls, cleaning guestrooms to cleaning public bathrooms. I don't think I've spent so much time in a boys bathroom before! The experience is humbling, cleaning places that aren't yours without return. I think it'll be good for me. 

GAP groups: I haven't had much experience with these yet, so you'll have to bare with me. These groups focus on the nations, mainly the outreach location we will be visiting (still to be determined). In the groups, we will be learning about culture and ways we can reach the people. I believe there will be some intercession involved as the name "gap" refers to "standing in the gap" for someone else.

Small groups: These are smaller groups within the dts (made up of a single gender). They are designed to create close relationships and go deeper into specific topics that the people in them want to know more about. There is a free range in small groups. We can do whatever we want, but it's really about being real with each other and building others up.

Processing time: This is a time for the class to be together after the speaker has left to talk about what they liked, didn't like or have questions about. It's a time to just debrief before moving onto the next phase of teaching. It's good to hear what other people think of things because it gives you new insight which you might not have had if there hadn't been a time to share it. 

Well I think I've covered almost everything! I left a few out like bible study and meal times because I think those speak for themselves. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to email me at kathleenf29@hotmail.com. Congratulations for making it through this one. I know I'm congratulating myself. 

Thanks for reading,
God bless!
Kathleen








Saturday, January 15, 2011

Time to Discover

Hey Friends!

I've been in Colorado Springs for just over a week, and I think it's about time to call this place my temporary home. This short time has been such a roller coaster of events that I felt it would be best to wait until I completely settled myself before writing any updates.

I am staying at a the YWAM base, otherwise known as The Park. It was once a Hilton hotel and is one of the nicest bases, or so I am told. I share a room with three other girls, who have been having as hard of a time as I have fitting all of our stuff into the three drawers allotted to each of us. I will post pictures of all of this once I have taken enough. 

Most of the first week consisted of orientation, in which a mass of explanations and guidelines were thrown at us, which left some of confused, agitated and wondering what exactly we signed up for. Finally the teaching began on Tuesday.

Our first week was on hearing the voice of God. Our speaker, who was amazing, gave great insights into simplifying the fact that God really does want to talk to us and show us His heart and how we could put it into practice. I'm already blown away by how much God has spoken to me and the people around me, simply because  I asked Him to and waited for His answer! It's something that I've never quite understood the simplicity of until now.

It's only been a week and God's become so much more real to me than ever before. I am doing things that I never thought possible and I realize that it is truly just the beginning. I'm still trying to get a hang of this DTS thing and can barely fathom the idea that I'm going to have to deny myself in so many ways for six months, but I know there is so much in store for me and the rest of my class. There's no way I would turn back now.

Thanks for reading,
God bless!
Kathleen

Monday, January 3, 2011

Ready and Unprepared

Hey friends!

Well I have to say it's been a while! I hope the people who asked why the blog hasn't been updated in a while (mostly my mother), will forgive me for not posting in the month of December. The reason for this is that there really wasn't much to say. Other than it being a time to celebrate the birthday of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, it was a month of details. I spent most of it making lists and running here or there to pick important things up, shooting emails to YWAM and the ever enjoyable applying to college. I won't know the results of that final venture until sometime in February, so let's hope for the best shall we!

On to what's important! The countdown is dwindling. It is now three days until January 6th, the day I leave for my Discipleship Training School in Colorado Springs. Everyone I talk to asks me if I am excited to begin this journey, so to forego this conversations, I will answer the question now: In a word, yes.

I am well equipped physically. For Christmas I received hiking boots, a heavy duty backpack that holds 70 L to live out of for three months on Outreach, a polar fleece that I found can withstand even the cruelest Canadian climates and much more "indulgences".

But mentally and emotionally, I'm completely unprepared. I am more than eager to break down the walls that have been holding me in for so long and I know that this is exactly the release I'm meant to have, but I have no clue what it will be. So many people tell me I am going to see miracles, learn of the calling God has for me and even do amazing things and I know how much weight their words carry. The road ahead brings me great promise, but what exactly it is and how hard it will be is still unclear, but I am okay with that. I'm just ready for God to lead me in ways I could never imagine, to discover parts of myself that can only be revealed when I am consumed and made clean.

Yesterday, I had a goodbye party with the new friends I have made since I left my past behind. The night and amount of people that showed up to wish me well and bless me was unbelievable. I've realized what it means to have people in your life who see your true value and really want to be a part of your experiences. I will miss them all!

So, with all necessary money raised, stuff almost packed, heart set on the road ahead, eyes still glancing backwards a bit, I think it's time to go and let the next six months of my life tell the story!

Thanks for reading,
God bless!
~Kathleen